Marizka Shabira

     Have you ever falling in love with the person who you didn't want to be with? Judge the person that s/he doesn't fit you at all. And day by day, with all the coincidences, you have the chance to get to know more about him/her and you finally end up with them, have you?      I personally have never thought I would end up with the person who I didn't like before. He was just too good to passed by. This guy was way too unattractive in my eyes. Don't you feel it so, Dewa?      Whenever I throwback how could we know each other, I'm gonna laugh my ass off. Rachel, my classmate at freshman year as well as Dewa's friend introduce us through Instagram because of our "notes" were related to each other AHAHHAHAHA. She was trying to match-making us, but it doesn't succeed at first. This is silly af, ikr? Dewa texted me on dms afterwards.  He was talking about history and generally related to Ottoman Empire which I'm into this field a lot. Actually, I&

     I honestly had mixed feelings when the first time I dared to make friends on the internet (especially from different country, because there are so many differences between us). I was scared, yet so excited as well at the same time. I've never thought that I would met nice people and be my close friends. I am super happy to realize that there are lots of things that makes me grateful. For instance, I can build a wide relation, improve my English skills (which my English was like a damn shit lmao), even have the chance to learn foreign languages and their cultures. It's been a year I talked to people on the internet, and gladly most of them are Turkish LMFAO. I enjoy every time I spend my time to chat with them.      Let me tell you how could I met them. Almost a year ago, I joined English server on Discord for fun. I obviously had a lot of acquaintances. Well, almost all of them aren't long last. Yet, there is a Turkish guy who I talked to until now. His name is Emre Ci

 I’m fed up and wonder why do people often ask this question, “When are you gonna marriage? blablablabla”. They frequently ask this shit to my big brother and I'm as his little sister must be mad! Like hey, what the fuck are you gonna do if he doesn’t marriage yet like you or even your fr daughter/son? Are you gonna pay his wedding properties and his groceries with his future wife? Nah! Such a tosser! So, stfu and mind your own business. Let him choose what he really likes, wants, and need. I don’t remember how many times I said that, “No one can force you, at all. We are the one who own ourselves, not others, not our spouse, not even our parents.” Moreover, he’s still 23, too young to settle down (I guess). I just don’t want him to marriage in rush and feel regret in the future. Let he find his the one. The one who could understand him better even if more than himself. The one who could bring positivities to his life. Raise him up when he’s feeling low. Be there and sharing happin

 Akan selalu ada kebahagiaan yang terselip dibalik ketidaksukaan terhadap sesuatu. Dulu, setahun yang lalu, tepat waktu gue akhirnya berjodoh sama kampus gue yang sekarang, gue nangis, gue marah, banyak perandaian di otak gue. Mulai dari kampus sampai jurusannya bukan yang gue mau selama ini, jauh sekali dari ekspektasi. Sedih, takut, merasa berat, sangat, setiap kali ngebayangin perjalanan kedepannya. Tapi, ternyata semua bayangan negatif di otak gue nggak terjadi, sama sekali. Gue di sini punya banyak teman-teman yang super baik. Selama mengikuti perkuliahan memang beberapa kali gue nangis, gue ngerasa nggak berbakat di jurusan ini, tapi ternyata pas gue throwback selama 2 semester ke belakang, nggak se-susah itu juga. Gue selama ini terlalu takut, nggak percaya sama diri sendiri bakal menjalani semuanya dengan baik.  Sekarang, gue sadar, apapun yang udah gue alamin, rasa "kegagalan" dan sedih segala macam itu ga selamanya bikin hidup gue nggak baik-baik aja. Dan gue sadar,

 Nyatanya kita semua nggak pernah siap dengan yang namanya ditinggalkan sekaligus kehilangan, sekalipun udah tau kalau kita bakal mengalami hal yang pasti kayak gitu.  Di awal umur 19 ini rasanya berat banget. Kehilangan hero nya mars kecil terlalu cepat. Nggak pernah terbersit bakal ngelaluin ini semua, di umur se-muda ini (buatku dan mungkin nggak akan pernah siap di umur berapapun itu). Mars kecil masih butuh uluran tangan buat dituntun supaya nggak salah arah. Masih banyak hal-hal di dunia ini yang nggak bisa diterjemahkan sendirian. Sakit sekali liat manusia kuat dan angkuh yang katanya nggak pernah sakit akhirnya pergi se-cepat ini.  Banyak perandaian, juga penyesalan.  Kita udah janji waktu itu supaya lebih lama sama-sama. Aku nggak keberatan untuk nemenin hero ku kayak dulu yang mars kecil selalu lakuin, bahkan untuk pergi jumatan aja mars kecil nggak malu buat ikut, walau ujungnya numpang tidur di masjid.  Mars kecil nggak pernah bisa pisah lama-lama, sekarang juga masih begit

 Sepi senyap Malam-malam belum juga terlelap Pikiran dan hati Selalu ramai belum mau usai Pada ribuan malam aku memuja Padamu sebelum kamu senja Sebelum jumpa tak mungkin ada Sebelum peluk tak lagi nyata Dalam sepi aku memuja Dalam malam kita berjumpa Dan pada angan aku bersorai Sebab waktu tak akan usai Untuk membeku Untuk bertemu Untuk ada kamu selalu N.B : Eventho it hurts to longing for you, i still wanna do this for you. Rest in heaven, see you there, pap!